What You Can Control In Co-Parenting

No one ever plans on becoming a single parent. I know I didn’t. I had the mindset of not becoming a statistics. The statistics in the black community is 72% of children are raised in a single-parent household.  When you have your child’s best interest at heart, you do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. However, there comes a point when you realize that some situations are not meant to be.

So how do you move on from this point and focus on co-parenting? How do you find a common ground with someone that you can not communicate with? The answer to these questions comes with time. Even though sometimes you may feel like have no control of the situation, you have to remind yourself that this is not true. You can control:

1.Your Words and Actions

Try to avoid arguing, screaming and becoming physical in front of the child when interacting with the other parent. Children can pick up on the negative energy and may feel like they have to pick a side( team mommy or team daddy). 

2. Your Reactions

No matter what the other parent does or does not do, you can’t control it. Always remember that you can only control your reactions. Never allow your emotions dictate your reactions.

3. Your Household

You have no control over what goes on in the other parent’s household. Yes, it would be nice if the child had the same in both households but that’s just not realistic. Someone once told me that I can not be Supermom when my child is 6 hours away. When he’s with his other parent, I can only do so much because the rules of the house may be different than mine. You can only control your household.

4. Your Happiness

Just because it did not work out between you and the other parent, it does not mean that you aren’t worthy of being happy. You have a beautiful child that was created out of the situation and that should bring you so much joy and happiness. You deserve to be happy and you are fully in control.



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12 thoughts on “What You Can Control In Co-Parenting

  1. I needed this . My son tells me he want to go see his dad who lives out of state.He has been with me for 3 years. I’ve been a little selfish on the co part its more like all me. I’m considering allowing him to go. The part that really got me was that I can’t control what happens in others home. What if what they are doing in their home isn’t best for you child then what. How do you handle that situation?


    1. I understand actually where you are coming from. My son currently lives his dad. Really trying hard at this co-parenting thing. Sometime I have to trust that I build enough trust with my son that he would tell if something is wrong. And I have to trust that his father also have my son’s best interest at heart. Just trust your mother’s intuition.


  2. Wow, so true! I myself am not a parent, but I grew up in a single parent home. As an adult I have also witnessed my sister in law co-raose 3 of her 5 children. I wish I could share this post with her ex as he ignores every single suggestion listed. I will share it with her though and hope it helps her through their current battle!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a child of divorce, I can vouch for just how important all of these things are for the child’s well-being. I can only imagine how challenging it is to be a single parent, and admire everyone going through it alone (or with very minimal support) so much!

    Liked by 1 person

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